Supporting a college student who is struggling

The move to college, or to life after high school, brings more change at once than most of us face at any other time. New routines, new people, less structure, and much less of the support that used to be built in.

Many young adults struggle during this stretch. Most mental health conditions first appear before the mid-20s, and this season is a common time for anxiety and depression to begin or worsen.

Why the transition is so hard to see from home

From a distance, the signs can be quiet. Watch for fewer calls and texts, or much more anxious ones, sleep that has drifted far off schedule, dropped classes or missed deadlines, pulling away from friends, or a flat, tired tone that lasts more than a couple of weeks.

A change in pattern matters more than any single hard week.

Support without taking over

Your role shifts from manager to coach.

Listen first. "That sounds really hard. What have you tried so far?" keeps your young adult in the driver's seat.

Resist the rescue. Emailing a professor brings quick relief, but it can send the message that they cannot handle it. Offer to help them plan the email instead.

Keep the basics in view. Sleep, food, movement, and at least one real connection each week do a surprising amount of work for mood.

Normalize getting help. Many campuses offer free counseling, and young adults who hear that therapy is a normal, skillful step are more likely to use it.

Know the urgent signs. Talk of hopelessness, not wanting to be here, or self-harm calls for immediate help. Call or text 988 any time.

Your confidence in them is part of the support.

Take care of yourself

Watching a young adult struggle from far away is its own kind of hard, especially while your role at home is changing too. Make room for your own feelings about this season, and lean on your own supports.

Know when to bring in help

Our psychologists and therapists work with young adults on anxiety, depression, perfectionism, and life transitions, in Calabasas and online. Online sessions can make it easier to fit therapy around a college schedule for students located in California, and in some other states depending on the clinician. We also check out-of-network benefits and submit claims for families.

Book a free 20-minute call, or call or text 818-722-6964.

If someone is in crisis, call or text 988, or go to the nearest emergency room.